Where In The Bible Will I Find:

Forgiving Without Being Asked For Forgiveness?

Many people persist in disregarding what the Bible teaches regarding genuine repentance, by setting up their own concept of what repentance is and by attempting to conform thereto. Those who do this actually imply, whether they intend it or not, that forgiveness is the cancellation of bitter, revengeful, and uncharitable feelings toward those who sin against us, substituting a disposition of kindness, love and regard for the offending one or ones; and, they urge that such must evermore characterize faithful Christians.

But, (1) many devoted and dedicated disciples of the Lord never experience bitter, revengeful and uncharitable feelings toward those who sin against them; and (2) the attitude or disposition by so many regarded as obligatory in such cases is not repentance, anyway.

God never entertains "bitter, revengeful and uncharitable" feelings toward even the vilest of sinners; but, He forgives only those who repent. Jesus prayed for those who hated Him so much they sought for, and obtained His death; but, He did not forgive them until they repented. The words, "remission," and "forgiveness," often translate the same Greek word (aphesis) and the meaning is release, the sending of sins away, and thus the restoration of a peaceful relationship which the offence interrupted.

Unless the offender wants this relationship, it is impossible for the offended to effect it, however much he might desire it and seek it. Our Lord makes clear our obligation in such cases when He said, "Take heed to yourselves: if thy brother sin, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he sin against thee seven times in the day, and seven times turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him" (Luke 17:3-4).

To this the reply is often made, "Well, we must always be ready and willing to forgive," as indeed we must; but, this is not forgiveness and ought not to be confused with it. It is our duty to love all men, even our enemies, and to pray for their well-being; but, we can forgive them only when they repent.

The beloved apostle John wrote much about sin and forgiveness in the first of his Epistles. Sin, alas, is in the lives of us all (I John 1:8­10); it originates with the devil (3:8); Jesus died in order that forgiveness might be possible (3:16); when, through weakness, ignorance and inadvertence we sin, He is our "advocate" (heavenly lawyer), who intercedes in our behalf (I John 2:1); and His blood cleanses us, as we walk in the light, from all sin (I John 1:7).

He has promised that "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). We, therefore, must repent and ask God for forgiveness before He will forgive us, and, likewise, those who sin against us must repent and ask us for forgiveness before we can forgive them.